I remember before I got married, there was this maintenance man in my apartment complex. Told him I was getting married, and he warned me against it. Since he had a few failed marriages, he discouraged me from traveling that route, then left me with the typical line you hear from most men – Man, you actually going to settle down with the same -expletive- every day for the rest of your life?
That is a cop out, for real. Comes a time in your life (as a man) that you should want more. You should be tired of the same ol same ol…running from woman to woman. Grow up! I tell you we are almost a decade in, and sex is still for real. Sorry, for those who know us personally because this may be TMI, but heck I am supposed to speak about relationships, right?
Last night the Mrs. and I got into a little disagreement. The reason is personal (one thing I always suggest – keep your family business within the walls of your home). The point is afterwards we had what some people call – Makeup Sex. I really don’t call it that myself because my wife and I are quite healthy (thus so many kids…lol). The point is, if you constantly do anything over a period of time the same way, you fall victim to monotony. So to break that, you have to do something creative. Heck, God blessed you with a spouse, and for once you can actually have sex and not feel guilty since it is ordained (for those 2 people out there who had sex before they got married).
I can’t speak for anyone else, but I am enjoying my time with my wife. I am not a sex therapist or relationship guru, but some things to me are just common sense. Just come out the blue with something impromptu like truth or dare in the car in the garage, or chocolate and spaghetti sauce. Ok, maybe not that far, but you get the point. If you are always in the bedroom, venture out. Heck, we have 4 little ones, so don’t tell me you can’t be creative. Counter tops, couches, in front of the fireplace, in the office, washing machine. Not saying that we do it all these places just giving you suggestions 😉
All jokes aside, I know some married couples, and you look at the wife and she is so brittle and dry that you think to yourself, “She can’t be having anything that resembles an orgasm or enjoy sex at all, or she wouldn’t act the way she does.” Or look at the husband, and he looks miserable and bored to death. Why is this? Maybe because he didn’t think outside of himself and try to be considerate and learn what she likes. Maybe she has some inner resentment towards her husband for other areas? (Man, that is getting heavy, and reserved for another conversation)
Let me get back on track. Usually marriages fail and people suck at sex for two reasons. 1) They are selfish and can’t see outside of themselves, and 2) They don’t try hard enough. Of course there are more variables (spiritual ties, infidelity, yada, yada). I can go on for days on that, but I just wanted to list two, so there they are…lol.
All that to say, I am here to disprove the stereotypical “same ol sex” myth. It does not have to be that way. Marriage is what you make it to be.