Top 10 Worst Ex-Girlfriends EVER!!!

First let me put a disclaimer. I don’t condone revisiting the past, and this if for entertainment purposes only. As you can see I am in a goofy mood. I was thinking about what would be a good one for Top 10 Tuesdays. I have numerous lists on hold, but I started thinking how funny it would be if I put a list of the worst girlfriends ever, and why. Of course my initial title was a tad bit spicier and not Christian-like at all as I thought of numerous substitutes for the term – girlfriend. I guess this is only somewhat humorous to those who know me because I never (ever) used that term (then or referring to the past) for anyone I dated. I like to think of them moreso as Ex-Problems or Ex-Issues, Ex-Whatinthehellwasithinking or Ex-youaresostupidbecauseyouwerenotevenattractedtoher.

In any case, when I started thinking of this list, I couldn’t help but to chuckle to myself thinking about if my friends made their own lists. Funny thing is I bet a couple of people I know would put their wife somewhere on the list. It would be real cool if you could erase people from your past with a number #2 pencil eraser just as easy as you could erase their name from a list. My wife and I used to have this running joke about our ex’s. We were talking about Christopher Columbus, and how people thought the world was flat. We said it would really be cool if the world really was flat, then if someone gets on your nerves, you could just throw them off the face of the earth – literally. Mug would get all crazy. They’d have earth border patrol and everything. Be a bunch of babymoma’s floating in space like satellites case brothas running from child support.

Sidebar. My wife is just fine as she wants to be, and smart as a whip. She truly is my better half and I don’t take her for granted. I certainly see why ex’s from her past are still obsessed with her. Some cats just don’t get it though. Like listen stupid…God made this woman for me. You were just…like a slingshot to throw her in my direction faster. lol. Trust, I am not going anywhere. I ran across this poster, and it just made me bust out laughing [click image to enlarge]

Ok, getting sidetracked; back to the list. Of course I would never ever defame another mammal creating a list like this and posting names, but I bet everyone who knows me personally could take a wild stab at who would be #1 on my list. But heck, if I list her name, then I would have to change the list to my Carl Thomas – “I WISH LIKE HELL I NEVER MET HER AT ALL, AT ALL, AT ALL” Top 10 List.

Bad thing about lists like this is it really shows how stupid you were at the time. Like what in the world was wrong with me? Then I started to think if I could just list their characteristics instead of name maybe that wouldn’t be so harsh. For example #2 – liar, #3 loose. Then I found myself names being repeated numerous times. lol. Therefore, guess you have to fill in your own blanks this week. I will at least give you a hint of the undisputed champion on my list. Heffalump…aka BM…or big mix, big marge, broad mutha, buff-n-meaty or whatever you want to call her. If only the world were flat!


Who is your list consist of?


5 responses to “Top 10 Worst Ex-Girlfriends EVER!!!

  1. Oh, I definitely know who #1 is..hahaha, but I refuse to put a name on the list until you put a name on the list….hahahahahaha

  2. If Will created a list, you know he would start putting snacks on there. Cupcakes, ho ho’s, ding dong’s, donuts. Brotha did Little Debbie wrong back in the day. He was good at forming relationships with food, then breaking it off when something new came along. His list is probably…

    10. The McRib Sandwich
    9. Wendy’s Double Stack
    8. The Whopper (in the cardboard box)
    7. Honeybuns (the original microwaved for 11 secs)

  3. Naw man you got it wrong. It is the worst Ex’s…so it would be something like this

    10. Slimfast
    9. All veggies
    8. Exercise
    7. Salad
    6. Vitamins

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