the right choice?

Hey folk! I took a brief hiatus to get my head straight and priorities in order. Forgive me in advance for todays blog.  A few days ago my friend told me that he felt he was running on a treadmill while others were passing him by. It is a difficult part of life when we attempt not to measure where we are with others our age, friends and family. I am guilty of this from time to time, and I have to step back and reassess life. How I am close with many, there are none who have the EXACT same situation as I do. I have discovered that the hardest thing about life (in my opinion) is choices. When you are at the fork in the road, and you don’t have time to think and have to make an immediate decision, what do you do? And furthermore, how do you deal with the consequences when  you realize you went down the wrong path? I will revisit this again one day. So what did I do this weekend you ask? Nothing.

Saturday some kids asked my son to come out and play football with them in the street. As I sat in my office protectively watching through the window, I couldn’t help but to see some kids with bad throwing form. As a thurmurcoach, you tend to have this inner desire to teach. I fiddled my leg anticipating running out there to correct him, but I had to finish my taxes. Then I thought about how short life is, and how I could do my taxes when the kids were sleep, but I couldn’t get that moment back in time of playing street football with my son, or influencing that other young boy.  I thought about how I could use this moment to bless another life, versus being selfish and trying to just take care of my immediate needs. I threw on my gear and moved the kids to a strip of land where I could be all-time QB. I actually got my 6 and 4 year old playing with us to make it a nice 3-on-3 matchup. Team 1 was my oldest, my 4yr old, and this young girl. Team 2 was the young girls brother, this chunky kid who looked like Thurman Merman off Bad Santa, and my 6yr old. I was able to teach the kids some fun plays and mechanics. I won’t go into detail about the game, but the girl ended up having a nice arm, which helped with trick plays. We designed some plays for my 4yr old to score (which he had to run back across the street to tell his mom each time). However after all the events, my most memorable moment was my 6yr old. The kid never really expressed much interest in the sport, and ignored me when I tried to teach him. Prior to the game he was taking my instruction like a pro, and come game time actually had a few deep runs, and a completed pass. Last play of the game my oldest scored on him, and my 6yr old buried his head in my back and started pushing me. I am sure other fathers out there know what I am talking about. The birth of competitiveness in your son where he doesn’t like to lose, doesn’t want to cry, is frustrated but can’t hit you. Like one word will send them over the edge into a rage of tears and aggression. I took a knee and tried to encourage him and tell him what a good job he did, etc…but strangely enough that moment excited me as I saw a turning point in his growth. I wouldn’t have seen it if I stayed inside to do taxes. I think I made the right choice.

Sunday I planned on getting some work done so I could spend time with the fam and enjoy the Super Bowl. I still had to do those taxes, along with a plethora of other things. My sons have this fisher price rim and the oldest asked me if he could bring it into the kitchen. I immediately knew I would get in trouble with the mrs if we broke anything (since earlier that day the 2yr lil terrorist already broke a jar of salsa all over the kitchen floor trying to get his juice out the fridge). We began a battle to show who has the best jump shot as we shot all over the house and used full advantage of our vaulted ceilings. After I set multiple records, we moved to a 2-on-2 game. It was #1 jones_trin& #2 vs. #3 and myself. I guess this is only funny if you know the kids, but #2 & #3 fight constantly…then are laughing 5 mins later. I can’t really say what happened this game because of child protection laws, but let’s just say it looked like a jr high fight. These two get mad, and it is over. Bad thing is the older one used to smack him (in an attempt not to hurt him), and I went off about him swinging like a little girl and to never do that again. Well he took my words literally and looked like Roy Jones yesterday. He had to connect at least 5 times before the youngest used his brute strength to thrust him against the couch like a superhero. I think this was residual from them pushing and shoving during the football match yesterday. In any case I made them break it up, hug, makeup, all that good stuff. After all the fights, bruises, falls, other stuff that goes along with playing…my sons had a ball. The 2yr old was even getting in the mix, and might I say he has a nasty shot on him. Kid sits and watches bball flicks and tries to mimic it all day long. He absolutely loves basketball and it is like his meditative place he likes to visit where he can take his ball, dribble, shoot, and zone out to the rest of the world. I am rambling now, but I am just a proud father glowing about a moment in time I created by making a choice to invest in my children, rather than focus on bills and other troubles in life.

I also invested some time with my wife this weekend. I just like  being in her presence, talking to her about life family and our kids, playing with her, tickling her, joking with her, watching her sleep. I think sometimes we (men) get caught up in what we need/have to do and don’t stop to invest in our women. I once wrote about how we hinder our blessings by not reverencing what God blessed us with. And sometimes it does not take a lot. I have read before that just holding hands can have medical/emotional benefits for women. All that to say I chose to spend time with her, versus, doing bills, work, etc. I think I made the right choice.

When I think using men logic, and make statements like “I didn’t really do anything this weekend”… in actuality I did. I invested in my family. There was no rhyme nor reason to today’s blog. Let’s just say it was a reflection day where I assessed who and what is important in my life. I spoke with my goddaughter this weekend for a couple minutes (before she deferred to my wife), and after hearing her angelic voice I decided it is time to reassess my relationships. To allocate more time to those who are important (family/friends), and distance myself from those who aren’t (family/friends). It is time I start doing some pruning. Today I will end this blog today from another quote from the movie PRIDE.

“My life is way too short for me to spend my time around people who don’t care about nothin’.”
– Jim Ellis (Pride)


One response to “the right choice?

  1. This is always great to hear. I know when I was at Wright State working and going to school I had to force myself to stop what I was doing to spend time with Tee and MG. I was not like I didn’t want to but work and school was consuming so much of my time but sometimes we have to take care of what is most important to his and that is FAMILY. Well, it don’t surprise me that you did that because I know you are about taking care of your family.

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